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How My Husband’s Ex Tormented My Life

dramatic lifestyle portrait of young sad and depressed black african American woman on bed sleepless suffering headache insomnia sleeping disorder and anxiety problem feeling unwell and upset

Our story began on one rainy day. There was no sign it was going to rain. The sky was clear and sunny. No clouds and no thunderstorm. I had gone to the market and walking by the street when suddenly the rain began falling heavily. I didn’t know where to go, no shelter apart from the shops around so I made a fast run and entered the next shop I saw. My hair was wet and my shirt drenched.

This gentleman approached me at the door and said, “Sorry madam, here you are, a towel.” I looked at his face and started thinking about why he’ll be so kind enough to hand me a towel. I looked around, they sold electronic gadgets. I said in my head, “Or he thinks I’d come to buy something.” I took the towel and said thank you. He said, “You can have a seat there when you’re done cleaning.”

I looked at the “there” he talked about. I saw two chairs and a desk. It looked like someone’s working station. “Ah well..” I went and sat there after I’d cleaned my soaked body. A few minutes later he came to sit in the other chair behind the desk. He said, “Obviously the rains forced you to enter the shop. No problem but you can use the opportunity to look around. You may not need them today but who knows.” I got up and followed him around. He took his time and showed me most of their new stocks and explained how they work to me; “Here, Halogen oven. It roasts meat better and very efficiently. That one there is a toaster. It’s modern and packed with the latest technology in toasting…”

He went on and on until I asked him, “Why are you showing me only kitchen stuff? I’m interested in other stuff too.“ He laughed and said, “You’re either married or getting married soon. You’ll need these things earlier than all others.” I answered, “I don’t even have a boyfriend so I’m not that close at all.” He took me around to see other things too and I was very impressed by the way he handled me. The rain won’t stop so we sat down again and began talking about things that are not stocks. I asked him, “Are you the sales manager in this place?” He answered, “No, I owned this place but I’m interested in selling than owning.” We both burst out laughing. I asked again, “So you do that with all customers that come around?” He said, “No, unless they need special care. Other than that, the guys here are equally competent to handle them.”

Later the rains stopped. I asked permission to leave and he gave me his complimentary card; “Call me anytime you need something electronic. I don’t mind delivering it to you myself.” I looked at the card and looked at his face one last time. I said, “If you won’t ask me, my name is Bella. I’m a teacher and I live not too far from here so definitely I would come here again.” His name was on the card so he didn’t need to mention it again. He said, “I hope you call soon.”

And soon I called. When I got home that day, I called him to thank him for being kind and hospitable. He also thanked me for tolerating his ceaseless talks. I said, “Don’t worry at all. I learned a lot.”

A month or so later, he called back, “Since you haven’t had a reason to come around again, I’m only calling to tell you I’m a friend so you can pass by anytime you go to the market.” I laughed as though it was the funniest thing I’ve heard in a long while. But that laughter came from a place of joy knowing very well that I’d been looking for a reason to call him. The next day I went to see him. The day after, I went. The day after that day, I went again. It became a daily thing until one day he reciprocated.

He came around often, usually after work. Three months later, we were dating. A year and a half later, we were married. A day after our wedding, I received a message on my phone; “You married a half-man. He’s infertile but didn’t tell you about it. It’s your loss.” Infertile? How? and who is this person sending me the message? I showed the message to my husband and he laughed. “I know who sent it. It’s Cynthia and no one else.”

Cynthia was his ex and he told me how their relationship ended bitterly and how the girl tormented his next girlfriend until she left him. I didn’t hear from her and I thought she had moved on but no. She reared her face immediately I got married to him. I asked him, “But why is she calling you infertile?” He answered, “Only she can answer that question.” Not too long afterward, the girl sent me another message; “Does he still wear those cream boxers? I bought them for him on his twenty-eighth birthday. So if after five years he still wears them, it tells you the kind of man he is.”

Yes, my husband had cream-colored boxers but I didn’t understand why the ex was doing that. I showed the message to him again. He said, “This girl is pure evil. Pay no attention to her but I’ll confront her.” One morning when my husband was away, I gathered all those cream panties and burned them. She never stopped coming. She sent me a message even about the carpet in our room. She said, “I bought that carpet. He preferred tiles but I had my way and bought the carpet. If he doesn’t want me then why does he use the things I got him?”

The next day, I took the carpet and dashed it to someone. It got to a point I was waking up each morning to her messages. My husband confronted her on several occasions but she never stopped. He even threatened to report to the police but this girl never stopped until one day I sent a message back to her and ask what she wants. She said she wanted nothing but want me to know the kind of person I got married to. I told her, “I’ve already made the decision so stop the commentary and let me enjoy my marriage.” I asked her, “Were you serious about his infertility?” She only sent laughing emojis and that was it.

To date, I can’t understand why that girl chose to do that to me and my husband. Was it her way of destroying us? Was it her way of making sure my husband never gets into another relationship? Was it just another way of stoking fire on the head of a man who jilted her? I can’t answer but whatever her reason was, I didn’t enjoy that episode. It was the reason why I got scared when after three years we hadn’t conceived. I worried a lot about what she said about my husband’s fertility. But now, I worried no more because we have two kids and one underway.  

—Bella, Ghana


Written by Ph

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