Okay, this is not just for the ladies, you guys need to read it too. Now it does not take a genius to diagnose some of the things that have been carefully analysed in this article and it does not equally have to be solved by an expert, it just requires us to be fully aware of what marriage entails and what it would demand from individuals who go into it.
Most of the highlights made on this subject are based on experiences garnered by observation especially of the marriage issues that crop up daily and the countless marriage dispute resolutions that have made a particular dent in my memory. Remember that Some of these issues may not apply to everyone but rather each to his/her own issues. Find which one applies to you and try to make adjustments that will make your marriage the happily ever after you dreamt of.
Mis-leading Assumptions Young People Go Into Marriage With:
10. The Very Strong Believe In Happily Every Day After
First of all, I would like to remind you that it is called happily ever after and not every day after. But even when you wish for happily ever after, I find myself shouting a very big amen to that wish because of a truth, it would take a miracle to bring it to reality. The happily ever after is a wish and has always been a defining quality of movies, romantic novels and very vivid imaginations in reality.
So you think you and your spouse will experience endless happy days, no bitter moments, and no disputes, really? Better wake up! As soon as the honeymoon is over, there are jobs to attend, children that will come in the marriage to deal with, illness, bad moods, environmental issues, finances and the list is endless that may affect the desired every moment happiness.
Now unless you create margins for these variables and develop strategies to cope with them, wonderland experience is definitely not going to be forever. Some are so unlucky that their sorrows begin long before their honeymoon is over. Make up our mind to constantly be the author of your dream marriage and just maybe, you would get a happy one but it definitely wont be a happily every day after.
09. My Partner Will Never Cheat On Me
I have only one question for people with this particular mindset ‘Is that Partner Human?’ More importantly, In what world is that? i still don’t get What makes people imagine that individuals who have no discretion in their sexual values before marriage would suddenly grow those values overnight. Or that those who have never had multiple relationships would not do so just because they now wear a ring proclaiming they have been hooked? News flash! There are sexual predators that specialize on going after married people only. Those ‘working class ladies/men’ whose sole job is to ensure that your partner will never attempt faithfulness much less succeed.
08. The Main Aim Of Marriage Is To Bear Children
Since most ladies are incurable romantics, this would go mainly to the guys, If the strongest reason why you want to get married is to have children, you may want to have a re-think. Why?
We all go into marriage with the assumption that we will bear children when we want to and in our desired sex distribution. But then life happens, and we realize that those matters are much deeper and more mysterious than intimacy and that we have very little control over our ability to procreate in a marriage. It is quite sad that the issue of childlessness is one of the things that tears up a marriage faster than you think it could possibly end. It wakes a very minor few to the reality that marriage has other purposes but to some larger others that wake up call never quite comes.
07. ‘When We Get To the Bridge, We’ll Cross It’ Way Of Handling Issues
Issues that linger are always the ones that destroy. Whoever said it is best to tackle it when it becomes obvious, It’s a lie! Please try as much as it’s within your power, to resolve every single issue you can imagine before getting married. Yes, you heard well, its best to table all issues that could possibly constitute ignorance in a court of law, this way, you will know if there should be a marriage at all.
You might want to come to a conclusion about things like sex, frequency of intimacy, sexual compatibility, finances, household chores, relationship with in-laws, belief in God, career advancement, location of the home, educational pursuit, vacations, conflict resolution strategies in the home, family bank account, how to discipline the kids, relocation of the family if the need arises, disclosures of all kinds and frankly, the list is inexhaustible.
If you fail to resolve the issues before commencing the marriage journey, when you do get to ‘that bridge’, you will find the bridge was never constructed and now you have to swim treacherous waters. Couples must ask those tough questions at some point. They can choose to ask them before the marriage (which would save a lot of heartache), during the marriage (and hopefully salvage it) or after the marriage during a ‘what went wrong’ analysis of it.
06. I Don’t Love Him/Her But Love Will Grow In The Marriage.
This is really hilarious. Yes love grows, but it has to exist first. How can something that does not exist grow? Agreed, this was how our parents used to get married. The elders would tell them, love isn’t important right away and it worked out really well for them but come on! This is the 21st century. It will come with time? Well guess what? It never does. If you don’t love someone today, you are not likely to love him/her forever. Those who make the mistake of loving people’s status, wealth, looks, dress sense, mannerisms, intelligence and indeed all other things that can change in a moment soon find out that love for the individual in question is more critical than any other factor even though it is not the ultimate.