Why You Shouldn’t Air Your Dirty Laundry On Social Media


Refraining from calling your ex out on social media will save you face and money

Let’s be honest, the temptation to let the world know what a terrible person your cheating ex is, is strong! All you have to do is write a post, right? Wrong. Before you go off and slam your ex on social media, consider who will be affected in the long run.

On Tuesday, the wife of actor Columbus Short allegedly became aware of his cheating ways and was quick to let the world know about it – in a video on social media. Before posting the video, Karrine Steffans posted a picture of her husband on Instagram, claiming he’d cheated on her and that he’s now “homeless”. Steffans also tagged women with whom her husband had allegedly cheated on her with, causing an even bigger stir.

Josphat Kalebe-Mwanza, a marriage and relationship counsellor who’s also known as Coach Joe, views venting as a private matter – doing it on social media makes it public, which is what Steffans should have considered. “Many people tend to think of a Facebook post as something that stays between ‘friends’,” says Coach Joe. “In reality, this kind of communication is relatively open-ended. Whether you realise it or not, it has the potential to reach a much wider audience than you intended in a very short time. Once you’ve put something out there, you have no way of controlling the forwards and second-postings by ‘friends’ and ‘friends of friends’. A good rule of thumb is, ‘Don’t post anything on social media that you wouldn’t want to see printed on the front page of the newspaper.’”
Hurt and bitterness or sometimes missing your ex can lead people to publicly humiliate their former partner on social media, Coach Joe adds.


If you share children with your ex, consider how they will be ridiculed for the social media scandal you create. They might be bullied as a result and the effects of this are long-lasting.

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Consider that in time you might feel differently about your ex or you might have come to an agreement, or found peace within yourself. An online fight will unfortunately always be a terrible, static reminder of bitter days.

Legal implications of putting your business out on the streets

Besides the emotional damage, you could also face legal consequences should the other party decide to sue for defamation.

Social Media Consultant Emma Sadleir told DESTINY in a previous article that “if something is not shared in the public interest and can be seen as damaging to someone’s reputation, it’s better to refrain from sharing it on social media and rather use the correct platforms such as the courts to report your case.”

Lawyer Gillian Lowndes added in a another article: “The law in South Africa that pertains to the publication of statements which may impact upon or be damaging to another, is the law of defamation, which is based on the “actio iniuriarum”. In simple terms this is a remedy that came from Roman Law and gives the right to claim damages to a person (in a monetary amount) whose reputation has been intentionally damaged by the act of another.”

Onalerona Moreo, now ex-wife of singer and media personality Proverb, shared the news that the couple’s divorce was final on social media, but in a much more acceptable manner. She posted the following message on her Facebook page:

“To my family,

Thank you for all the support and love that you have shown me. Today marks a new beginning for all of us. The divorce order has been granted. Through God’s grace and faith, I believe God will continue to be faithful to us and lead in our lives. My prayer is for us to continue to have the heart to always forgive and cherish every new day that God blesses us with.

I’m grateful for your love. Peace be with you always


Onalerona Moreo”

Life Coach and NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) practitioner Thembilihle Seruto believes that you do yourself a disservice by going public with your emotions.

“Whether it’s an ex or anyone, calling anybody out on social media is you disempowering yourself. A lot of people blame the world for their problems and as soon as you blame everyone for what you have created (since you are the creator of your reality) you are giving someone else the power to rectify. They are going to rectify what you’re feeling, if you can’t handle your own feelings. The true nature of cause and effect is that these feelings will come up for you. You are the only one that’s going to process it.”

Seruto adds that calling someone out on social media will have a ripple effect.

“The implications of calling someone out on social media are huge. When we come down to earth. You become completely disempowered, unfolding into something so huge. The universe and life will keep creating something that will happen in such a way that you will eventually learn.”

“This is a mere fight on social media where friends get involved, family gets involved, then the media. After that it becomes a legal issue and eventually goes viral and people are sharing your message because now everyone has disempowered you and how your emotions have made you feel.”

Instead of taking to social media to out your feelings, consider writing a letter to your ex in which you express your disappointment, take some time out and decide on a constructive way forward.

Remember, don’t ever allow anyone to rob you of the power to be happy.

Source: Destinyman

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