“The most beautiful sight in the world is a child going confidently down the road of life after you have shown the way.” – Confucius
It’s really appalling when one sees University students not being self-relaint. As parents, it’s important you are able to teach your kids to be self-reliant, to be able to make decisions for themselves and ‘man-up’. Life belongs to the strong and courageous. You are saddled with the task of preparing your kids to stand strong when the storms of life come through.
1.Learn to Guide, Not Do
If you really want your child to become self-sufficient and thrive without you, your role must be of a guider, and not doer. Teach your child resourcefulness.
2. Back Off From What Kids Can Do Solo
It may be time for your child to fix his own launch, make her bed, do some laundry. It depends on your child’s age, maturation, and current capabilities, of course. The goal is to not overwhelm children with new expectations. Gradually introduce only one new task at a time. Once they say “I can do it all by myself” then let them do it, observe and correct where necessary.
3. Stop Rescuing.
One way to change this pattern is to start with a family meeting where you agree together on a new policy about taking responsibility—whether it’s for doing chores or finishing homework—and how any lapses will be handled. That will also help teach children that their actions have consequences.
Your new parenting mantra: “Never do for your child what your child can do for himself.”
4. Teach Organization Skills
Is your child misplacing things and getting careless? Instead of bailing your child out, ask: “What can you do to solve this problem?”
Learning to organize is an important skill all children need for managing their own lives-so they rely less and less on you as time goes by.
5. Teach Them to Brainstorm
Want your child to be able to solve problems someday without you? Then you must teach the skills of brainstorming. The first step is to identify the problem and express confidence that your child can work it out. You might need to help kids at first understand that brainstorming means coming up with lots of different ideas, no matter how silly those ideas may sound.
6. Teach How to Negotiate
This is actually one skill I wished my parents had actually taught me. Teach your kids how to neogoitate. Explain that the purpose of negotiation is to work things out so all sides are satisfied. Then establish clear negotiation behavior.
7. Talk About the Future
Encourage children to think beyond the here and now, as appropriate for their age. For example, with a young child you might talk about the next day or with an older child, the coming summer.