Justin Bariso, author of upcoming book The Practical Guide to Emotional Intelligence, told Time.com that a person’s ability to see the bigger picture in situations that arise within a relationship can be the one thing that prevents the relationship from failing.
In his book, Bariso talks about emotional intelligence, also known as EI or EQ (emotional quotient). He says that EI/EQ is one’s ability to “recognise” emotions and the powerful effect they have, and to use this knowledge to guide behaviour and thoughts. “When we speak about getting our emotions ‘under control’, we are usually thinking about controlling our response to emotions,” he says. “This isn’t easy – but it can be done with practice.”
According to Bariso, EI/EQ opens up one’s mind to seeing beyond what is presented.
In the event of a disagreement, he suggests taking time out to ask yourself the following questions:
– How will my response affect the relationship I have with this person?
– If I say something, am I going to regret it tomorrow, next week or next year?
Bariso adds that if you practise this often enough, it will soon become a habit.
“Your relationships are like bridges between you and everyone else,” he says. “Every day, you’re faced with moments that are charged with emotion. When you take a moment to see the big picture and adjust accordingly, you add another brick to strengthen and reinforce the bridge – instead of allowing those moments to slowly wear the bridge down, until it falls apart.”