A human behavioural specialist discusses the most common myths that can stop people from experiencing a rich relationship. Life is not a fairytale. We have all read about ‘happily ever after’ and other misleading fantasies in story books. Most people continue to buy into these childhood ideas, even in adulthood.
However, believing in these common myths will stunt your personal growth and keep you from fully experiencing the riches that every relationship has to offer.
Myth 1: A New Relationship Will Make Me Happy
During the initial infatuation phase of a relationship, you mostly see the positive side of a person. There is a strong attraction, positive traits and potential for lasting happiness.
However, that’s just a delusion. Regardless of how well a relationship begins, you will eventually experience both sides of the person with as many challenges as support.
A relationship will not change this natural experience of human emotions.
Myth 2: When I Find My Soul Mate, I Will Feel Complete
Living as if your soul mate will complete you will only lead to heartbreak. The illusions that you project onto your so-called soul mate will inevitably fall apart when the person sometimes behave in a manner that is not supporting you.
All the characteristics you may be seeking in a soul mate can be found in one person or several people in your life that fully complement you and help you awaken to your own wholeness.
Myth 3: The Right Relationship Will Last Forever
For every relationship beginning, there is another one ending. So the idea of forever is an unrealistic expectation. A relationship lasts as long as both people respectfully communicate in each other’s highest values or priorities.
Myth 4: Once We Get Past These Rough Waters, It Will Be Plain Sailing
Relationships are not static and no one remedy will eliminate all your supposed troubles. As I mentioned above, life involves a balance of difficulty and ease; of liberty and constraint.
Like for the seasons there will be many forms of weather.
Myth 5: A Good Relationship Requires Sacrifice
Sacrifice tends to breed resentment. Anytime you do something you don’t want to do, or see no benefit to yourself in doing it, then you will become resentful.
This may happen immediately, or unconsciously. It’s wiser to master the art of communicating in each other’s values and helping your mate fulfill their life as you fulfill yours.
Myth 6: Great Sex Happens Only at the Beginning of a Relationship
Both lust and intimate lovemaking can continue to grow and evolve throughout a relationship as long as you understand and disable any unrealistic expectations that might shut it down. This includes the myths listed here.
Myth 7: In the Right Relationship, I Won’t Have to Work at It
Many people hang on to the idea that being with someone should happen naturally. However, a fulfilling relationship requires concentration, organisation, effort and skill.
Myth 8: If I’m Not Involved with Someone I Will Be Lonely
People can feel lonely in a crowded room. Loneliness is a function of how you perceive yourself relative to your environment.
You can sleep right next to someone and yet feel a thousand miles distant or be a thousand miles distant but feel as if they are close.
Myth 9: Children Complete a Marriage
Children are unlikely to complete a union, just as romantic partners are unlikely to complete each other. Children can be fulfilling and provide supportive and challenging experiences.
Myth 10: Opposites Attract
There is no true opposite, only an apparent opposite. Every human being has the same potential for love, anger, greatness, hope, despair etc.
What you see in a romantic partner is also present in you. It’s just expressed in a different way.
You seek the character traits that you admire in your mate, while you attract the character traits that you dislike in your mate. Each mate will provide a complement of both.