Every year, Google compiles a list of the most Googled phrases. One popular question is: “How do I know he/she is the one?” This conundrum has long inspired writers and musicians – you just have to listen to Queen’s Somebody to Love or read Shakespeare’s Othello to realise that it is a particularly fruitful source.
So, how do you know if someone really is for you? Firstly, you have to be realistic about the chances of your relationship surviving. “Even when I was a young man, I knew that my wife would have to be Christian, self-employed and tall,” says Thapelo* (44).
“I knew that anything else would be a step in the wrong direction, as I see the lack of these characteristics as deal-breakers.”
On the other hand, some men attest to finding love when they least expected it. “I’m responsible for a high-performance division in a top auditing firm and I just never had the time to find love. Somehow, I felt an uncontrollable force between my wife and me – we have been married for six years now – and the great thing is that she proposed to me!” laughs Andries* (48).
One of the early things that can indicate whether someone is the right partner is their willingness to put your needs above theirs. They will either pass or fail this test the first few times you interact, such as being willing to fetch you from your home, even though you have your own car, splitting the bill on a date or finding out when your birthday is.
Most love prospectors believe the perfect mate is someone who shares their interests and has the same perspective on most topics. However, the converse of this can also be used to gauge a relationship’s
chances of standing the test of time. Statistics prove that relationships – and not just romantic ones – endure if the involved individuals possess different skills sets, complementing each other when it counts most. This fosters a relationship of dependence, as the partners realise that one can’t thrive without the other.