Six Things Only People Who Watch The Masters Will Understand


Having to find an excuse for your boss on Monday morning

If things are tense on the final day, there is no way you are going to bed at a reasonable hour. You’ll watch every ball, no matter how hard your body is fighting against it. Your heart doesn’t care if things go to a playoff, your brain wants things to be over with so you can get sleep. No matter what the scenario on Sunday night, you might have to think up a creative excuse to tell your boss on Monday morning. Unless you were smart enough to book leave, of course.

To powernap or not to powernap?

People who watch cross-continental sport quite often are familiar with the wonders of the powernap. If the Masters is the only time zone you ever cross for sporting pleasures, you’ll be less acquainted with the miracle that is 20 minutes of sleep that can make you feel like you’ve been injected with the some A-Class drugs designed for people who never want to sleep again.

Photo by Scott Halleran/Getty Images for Golfweek

The sheer agony and pain brought on by 2012

Golf is kind of a weird sport. Players play mostly for themselves, but when they achieve great things, you bet their country will claim them and get behind them. That was the case with Louis Oosthuizen in 2012 when he took Bubba Watson to a tense playoff. By the time Watson needed two putts to win – and missed his first one by a few centimetres – the emotional investment had become too much. By the time Watson won, you’d turned into the same hot mess you were during that run-out in The World Cup That Shall Not Be Mentioned.

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Everyone is a golf fan

This is a bit of a double-edged sword for some. Golf purists will find the agony of those who do not regularly stay up to watch golf in other timezones annoying and their passive interest an insult. Mostly, it’s just a bit of fun. Sure, you might not be able to rattle off all of Brooks Koepka’s par scores from every single tournament he has ever played, but you’ve got eyeballs and you’re watching the Masters and you can definitely have a discussion about Azaleas.

The sheer bliss of no “get in the hole” tomfoolery

 Anyone who has ever watched gold in the US will know that, for some reason, spectators here like to yell “get in the hole”. They seem to think this will woo the ball on. It’s the bane of the existence of many golf-watchers, but at the Masters, it doesn’t happen and, when it does, it’s taken care of pretty quickly.

In 2013, Yahoo! Sports’ Jay Busbee witnessed firsthand what kind of stern vigilance Augusta officials will bring out if you even dare.

Somebody actually shouted “get in the hole” and that’s where all hell broke loose. Busbee wrote in a column:

Before the second word was out, the Augusta National security team — well, security pair — shadowing Woods was snapping into action. A guard in a white shirt and black slacks, earpiece crackling, and a supervisor in well-pressed khakis began craning their necks, trying to see along the rope line for who would have dared lift their leg on Augusta National’s decorum.

When he asked the security guard what would happen if they caught the guy and the guard said he’d lose his badge, forever.

Photo by Andrew Redington/Getty Images

The inexplicable desire to own a white jump suit

Seriously, how can you not want a white jump suit? Who needs a onesie when you can have a jumpsuit with a surname embezzled on the back to waddle around in?


Source: The South African

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