Why Hlaudi Is Better Than Chuck Norris


Hlaudi Motsoeneng has said some pretty batshit crazy things in the last few weeks, so somebody has written these Chuck Norris style “facts” about him. If you’re not familiar with Chuck Norris-style facts, they are deliberate hyperbolic statements which over-exaggerates somebody’s greatness.

  1. When he was 10, Hlaudi decided to live by himself. And his parents just moved to another house.
  1. One day Hlaudi did a test in a lie detector machine. The machine confessed everything.
  1. When Hlaudi was young, his parents used to sleep on his bed when they were scared.
  1. When Hlaudi goes to your place to visit you, you’re the guest.
  1. Hlaudi’s father is named after him. He is called Hlaudi Junior.
  1. One day Hlaudi passed a red robot and when Metro Police stopped his car, Hlaudi gave THEM a ticket.
  1. Hlaudi helped the nurses when he was born.
  1. Hlaudi never lies. The truth is what is wrong.
  1. When Alexander Graham Bell created the telephone, he already had three missed calls from Hlaudi.
  1. Oxygen needs Hlaudi to survive.
  1. It is impossible for Hlaudi to have a heart attack. Nothing is stupid enough to attack Hlaudi.
  1. In school teachers used to raise their hands to talk with Hlaudi.
  1. One day Hlaudi missed two days in a row in the school. Later on, these days were called Saturday and Sunday.
  1. One day Hlaudi arrived late at school. The other students were penalised because they arrived too early.
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See the original post written by Linda Ande Yende here.

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