Gospel singer Sfiso Ncwane and his wife Ayanda celebrated their ninth wedding anniversary few days ago and we can’t help but swoon over the couple and their genuine display of love. We picked up a few lessons from Ayanda’s heartwarming Instagram post to her husband
“For better or worse” is the promise we make when we chose our forever partners. One day you may feel loved up with stars in your eyes, and the next day you may want to strangle your partner. It’s all normal.
Couples who have been married for many years will tell you that love requires sticking together through the good and the bad.
Ayanda Ncwane took to Instagram to celebrate her husband on their special day, and took us back to the basics of what’s needed to make a marriage work. The pair hasn’t had the rosiest journey, but have chosen to weather the storms and are still each other’s biggest supporters.
These are some of the lessons we learnt about marriage from Ayanda’s post:
There’s no Marriage Manual
Ayanda said: “they gave us a congratulatory certificate this day 9 years ago. But not with a book…”
How we wish getting married came with a book of instructions! It would solve half our problems, right? Wrong. You will discover things about yourself and your partner and your ability to love one another as you go.
Leave the past in the past – and deal with exes
Bringing baggage from the past into your marriage is a recipe for disaster. If you have ‘baby mama drama’ or a clingy ex, deal with it accordingly and assure your partner that it will not become a problem in your marriage.
Through thick and thin
“You tell the kids ayikho imali ye playstation…” (You tell the kids we don’t have money for a PlayStation). Ayanda refers to those times in life when there is little or no money for luxuries and you may have to temporarily disappoint your children. Grow through money issues together. Try not to play the blame game; support one another and in time, things will get better.
No outside voices
Ayanda says that the only external voice welcomed in their marriage is that of the Holy Spirit. In marriage and relationships, we need to guard against constantly taking advice and allowing others to get involved. More often than not, outsiders have a warped picture, so keep communication going between the two of you.
Never stop flirting
With one another, that is! Ayanda ends by telling her husband: “You still make me blush… I can’t get used to your charming self.” As a couple, you should romance one another at every opportunity and work at keeping the butterflies flapping, even after an argument.
In the words of Maya Angelou: “Love is many things. It’s varied. One thing it is not and can never be is unsure.”