At some point last year, I ran into a singer (or an aspiring one, I’m not sure which), who talked about the pressures of the music and entertainment industry. Amongst her complaints, was one of sexual harassment. So, basically people would tell her, “If you do X or Y (where X or Y are human beings), we’ll help your career.”
So far, she has refused; she has a conscience. A conscience that was severely tested, when (according to her), she received an offer to be the “industry girlfriend” of a certain celebrity. A married celebrity, who is considered to be some sort of musical icon.
Chic spent twenty minutes, trying to convince me that this celebrity really loves his wife, he’ll never leave her, but she (the singer) just didn’t feel comfortable with that sort of arrangement.
I just shook my head, because the boring, car-crash-in-slow-motion love-life of this celebrity and his wife, is just weird. By the way, the wife is currently in the news for attacking a woman for trying to ‘wreck her home’.
Said celebrity constantly wears dark glasses; used to be a member of a three-man/boy musical group. That should clear up the mystery of the celebrity’s identity.
Four things you should know, when you focus on that MRS title, to the exclusion of everything else
You waste your time, energy and other resources, unnecessarily.
Other women are spending their internet subscription, time, creative energy, etc. to build or push brands, network, and form strong friendships and collaborations. Some are fortunate enough to find their soul-mates on social media. But you will use your own resources to look for pity and support, shaming other women, in your attempt to … police a penis. I’m not sure if that’s what you told your Guidance Counsellor in high school, when they asked, “What do you want to do with your life?” Which brings me to the next point.
A community penis belongs to everybody and to nobody.
It’s kinda like with a public toilet. You know those ‘convenience facilities’ that are not very convenient to use, because just about everyone and their dog is welcome to use? Those ones that make you very wise about what you choose to eat, before you hit the road – because the thought of having to use them, makes you ill? Yeah, those ones. So, I’m pretty sure that there are some people whose job it is, to clean those toilets, hold the key, etc. but they still get filthy, because they are what they are. The holders-of-the-key aren’t really allowed to refuse anyone usage of the ‘public convenience’. In similar fashion, you may be the legally-recognised custodian of the community penis – after all, he married you – but that is all you are: the custodian and cleaner, that cleans it up for just about anyone to use.
You become a pitiable case study in Stockholm’s Syndrome.
When some people are abused or otherwise hurt, some imbalance propels them to their abuser’s side. So, they actually take the side of their abuser. Unless your husband is a baby – in which case, you are a paedophile – you deceive yourself by telling yourself that he is the victim, all these girls are after my precious husband. My ears (not to mention Facebook inbox) are full of ridiculous propositions by silly men, whose wives would excuse all sorts. There are a lot of online and offline Xtian women groups, where these delusional women frequent, to moan and complain. Some of them listen to older women who say, “There is nothing prayer cannot do; I stayed with my own for 25 years and he finally came home.” Erm, lady … a) the dog returned ‘home’ because nobody else would have it; b) it came back to you, after all its energy (and most times, money) was gone. So, you’re making do with its remnants – nearly at death’s door, now too tired to hold an erection, now too poor to spend any money – plus your bitterness at your wasted years, for company.
You’re a piss-poor role model.
While you might think of yourself as a comrade-in-arms for women who have been cheated on, or a role model for ‘true African women’. But when you create an atmosphere in which your children start to believe that it is OK for daddy to hurt mummy (yes, kids see your tears); where your daughter thinks her dignity, mental health and safety are less important than societal expectations to be/stay a MRS; where your son thinks it’s acceptable to make any woman that moves, a potential recipient of an unplanned pregnancy or an STI – lady, you have failed. This is the real reason that some of your sons are in jail cells, abroad. Not because any “witch is doing your family”, but because you told them, with your behaviour, that was something was OK … when it really wasn’t.