Finally the tables have turned and it’s becoming more common for women to date younger men. Men have been dating and marrying younger women for eons. Now, providing for ourselves financially, money has afforded women the freedom to look for love outside the traditional, older, “provider” type of man, or even a peer partner.
Many single gals over 40, 50 or 60 look fantastic. They maintain their youthful figures and energy and as a result, crave a romantic partner who looks as good and can keep pace. This explains the sudden surge in May-December romances over the last 10 years. The term “cougar” is passé now our society now because older woman with a younger man is an accepted notion.
Afterall, you’ve made your success and you’ve earned your own “arm candy.”
As a dating coach for women, I’ve noticed a big change in mindset for some single gals over 40. I get calls more frequently from clients asking how to meet younger men. But, even more importantly, these women say they couldn’t possibly date a man their own age or older because those men are “too old”.
One client told me she needs to date men at least 15 years younger.
According to an AARP study, 30% of women over 40 are dating younger men. So, if you want a younger man, you have a fairly good chance of finding one. I myself married a man four years my junior. The difference is, I wasn’t actively seeking a younger guy … it just happened.
A Narrow Age Range Can Keep You Single
As a midlife woman, when you insist on narrow age requirements, the result can severely limit your options. While there are single guys open to dating older women, the pool is naturally smaller. Are you willing to forego love if you can’t find a younger guy?
For my clients, I recommend they consider seven years on either side of their own age for a 15-year window. This gives you many more choices. The more possibilities available, the better your chances for finding the right match and lasting love.
Beauty Is Only Skin Deep
Maybe you’re turned on by youthful skin, rippling muscles (who isn’t?), and the thought of wrinkles is revolting. Here’s the hard truth: No matter how good you look now, you are going to age and so is your young man.
If you are together for superficial reasons that only run skin deep, the chances of you staying together while aging become as slim as the collagen beneath your skin.
A Youthful Attitude Has Lasting Power
Is a man’s age what matters most? Or, are you looking for qualities like these?:
- Positive attitude
- Fit and healthy
- Open to new ideas
- Willing to try new things
- Energy to get up and go
You may think these characteristics are held only by younger people. Yet, you could meet a 35-year-old who is already an old fuddy-duddy couch potato. This is really about personality and mindset, rather than years lived. When you and your man live an active and engaging life, you’ll both stay young.
Advantages of a Man Your Own Age
I conducted a panel discussion once with five single men in their 50s who answered questions from an audience filled with midlife single women. Surprisingly, the men grew tired of dating younger women, and decided to look for women closer to their own age.
1. Shared History
This is what the men discovered: They liked having the same historical milestones in common like, “Where were you when Kennedy was shot?” Or “Who sang at the original Woodstock?”
They grew tired of blank stares and explaining themselves when it came to politics from the 70s and 80s. The same was true for movies, music, TV shows, sports, and even celebrities. Conversation with someone familiar with the same era made everything easier and more relatable.
What the men on stage learned was that for them, dating younger wasn’t as fun as they thought. You might find the same thing after the initial excitement wears off.
2. Same Life Stage
In your 30s, you are still working hard to prove yourself and striving for the success you’ve dream of. In your 50s, you’ve either made it or you’ve adjusted your vision, but you are ready to enjoy the good things life has to offer.
A difference in life stage can create irreconcilable differences since you want different things. That won’t be as much of a problem if you are closer in age.
3. Life Experience
The USA is a youth-obsessed culture; but, in other cultures, with age comes respect. People receive recognition for their achievements and life experience. Let’s face it, more years means you’ve been around and know a few things that the younger people will learn later in their own time. This is another place where couples of similar age can better understand each other.
Don’t get me wrong; I am not saying you can’t find lasting love with someone younger. Of course it’s possible. I’m simply suggesting that making age a top requirement might keep you single and focused on the wrong things to connect with your best match.
Should You Date Younger Men?
Sure. There’s no reason not to consider every suitor you find attractive. However, to improve your chance of attracting the magic of love, stay open to the right man for you who might show up in a different package than you expected. You want a man with youthful vigor, a sense of humor and caring nature, who also wants a long-term, committed, loving relationship with you. Just don’t overlook the meat and potatoes of what makes a relationship work, while drooling over his young, washboard abs.
Are you a single woman over 40 who is ready to start dating or dating but not meeting the right men? Get the proven dating advice you need from a dating coach who specializes in helping women over 40 with loads of success stories. Download my free book 7 Dire Dating Mistakes Single Women Make That Keep You Single so you can avoid heartbreaking missteps on your way to finding the magic of love.