Over the course of the weekend, I did some thinking on finances and healthy relationships and I observed that they are usually mutually exclusive. Hence, I’ll be starting two threads on the mutually exclusive relationship between friendship and money today.
Some people find it easy to ask a friend for money, others find it pretty hard to ask friends for money. Depending on your attitude to money and friendships, it might interest you to know that financial matters have a way of causing unnecessary strains on relationships. It takes extra commitment on the part of both parties to ensure that money does not end your relationship. Below are three reasons why you should never borrow money from a friend.
You Could Alter the Balance of your Friendship
The first reason you should never borrow money from a friend is that the action could alter the balance of your friendship. Successful friendships are built on a degree of equality between all participants. Hence, people in real friendships are not conscious of the fact that someone is richer, older, or more influential than the other is.
However, when you decide to borrow money from your friend you’ll stop being equals with that friend because you’ll highlight the fact that one has more money than the other does. Money is emotional and it has the capability to influence your status in the friendship. The friend that asks for the money might feel like (s)he owes the other party and the person who gives out the money might feel that the borrower owes him.
Asking for a Loan Might Put Your Friend in a Tough Spot
Some people will feel very bad if you ask them for assistance and they are unable to offer you help when you need it. However, some people would naturally go out of their way to assist their friends and family members.
If your friend is one of the people that will set themselves on fire just to keep others warm, asking them for a loan might put them in an uncomfortable situation if they do not have that money. For one, they’ll feel very bad if they do not have the money and they might go borrow money in order to raise money to lend to you, the friend could dip into family savings or money meant for other projects just to provide you with the loan.
Hence, you’ll put your friend in an uncomfortable position if (s)he needs to go into debt or dip into savings before (s)he can lend you money.
You Could Offend Your Friend Just by Asking
Some people do not mix business and personal affairs and they often put a distinct separation between their relationships and their finances. Truth be told, some people have a preconceived notion that friends and family are likely to take advantage of their closeness to make “unreasonable” requests and “unreasonable” requests often include asking for a loan.
Hence, you could be offending your friend by asking for a loan because it could appear that you are in the friendship just for what you could obtain out of it. Thus, in order to avoid a situation whereby your loyalty might be questioned; I think it would be in better to avoid asking a friend for a loan.
N.B: You should note that friends could lend each other money without necessarily jeopardizing their friendship. Nonetheless, it would be better if your friend “gives” you money instead of loaning you money.