Calling time on a relationship you once thought would last forever, isn’t anyone’s idea of a good time. Tracey Cox has revealed 16 interesting signs you know when it is all over.
1. You feel physically unsafe
This is the absolute deal breaker for most people and rightly so (see the box below ‘Five Warning Signs You Need to Leave Now’).
2. Something amazingly good or awful happens and they aren’t the first person you call.
It’s a subtle but vital ‘Eureka’ moment when you realise you’ve just called three best friends before even thinking of phoning your partner to tell them important news.
3. You think about contacting your exes – or actually do it
The more unsure you feel about your current relationship, the more exes start to swim their way back into your consciousness.
4. You’re putting out feelers to see if you’ve still ‘got it’
Plenty of people leave the relationship they’re in while they’re still in it.
You realise you’re flirting with friends, making eye contact with strangers, checking your attractiveness.
5. You’re sick of feeling constantly upset or angry.
You’ve been trying to solve your problems for a long time and all the angst, anger, sadness and constant anxiety has taken its toll.
You’re stretched to breaking point.
6. You’re getting sick all the time.
You catch every single illness that’s going around because your immune system is weakened from all the fighting.
The third cold you’ve had this month is the straw that breaks you.
7. You’re honest about what’s going on.
You’re no longer pretending it’s great or air-brushing when you describe your relationship to close friends.
8. You realise it takes two people to break a relationship as well as make it.
You’re finally able to step back and look logically at what’s working and what isn’t – and aren’t kidding yourself it’s all their fault.
You’re aware that even if your partner is an absolute scumbag, the fact you’re staying with someone who is clearly bad for you means you need to look at any toxic love habits.
9. You realise you like you, even if they don’t.
Some exes have helped you see ‘faults’ that were worth fixing but this person’s trying to alter the core of you.
10. The world is full of attractive people again.
When you were in love and happy, invisible shutters seemed to filter the ‘hotness’ of strangers: you notice good-looking people but their attractiveness is on a muted setting.
Suddenly, it’s like someone’s turned the volume up to MAXIMUM. Everyone seems to be appealing in some way.
11. You realise you’ve been doing all the work, all along.
While you’ve been bending and flexing and moulding yourself to fit around them, they haven’t altered one thing.
12. You see a dodgy message on their social media and really can’t be bothered asking about it.
Instead of making you feel upset and betrayed, you’re quite pleased to find proof they really aren’t ever going to change.
13. You realise you can’t truly trust them to do anything important.
This goes for everything from turning off the stove to feeding the cat to not hitting on your best friend or looking after your visiting Mum.
Same s**t, different day.
14. You really thought you’d solved the problem once and for all but here it comes again.
If they fell for someone else, it would actually do you a favour.
You wouldn’t look like the bad guy for wanting to leave.
15. You might still love them but you don’t actually like them any more.
You realise if you met your partner for the first time now, you’d not only have nothing in common, you’d actively dislike them.
16. You’ve avoided having s*x with them for months
You either don’t fancy them anymore – to the point where you get ‘skin crawl’ at the thought of s*x – or you’re so angry, you’re not sure you trust yourself to get physically close. You feel no sense of intimacy or closeness.
You don’t care if you are ‘throwing away’ all those years spent together by leaving.
Why would you want to waste another second of your life on someone who really isn’t worth it?