1. Ego is the enemy
Keep your ego under control to experience the highest potential of your relationship. Do this by finding joy in giving to receive: You give up part of yourself to receive in return the very best of someone else.
2. Communication is key
Communication helps you keep a consistent track of who your partner is and who they’re becoming. So the next time you see your partner, talk. Strike up a conversation which you know will intrigue them, and see where the dialogue flows from there.
3. Compassion will keep you together
Compassion, like patience, is a virtue learned through time. When we act with compassion, we accept and forgive those negative tendencies. We possess the wisdom to know when to say “Okay, let’s work through this,” rather than blaming, judging, and fighting with the one we love.
Two people who don’t grow in the same direction cannot remain in a compatible relationship
4. Weaknesses are secret strengths
We tend to see certain character traits – such as emotional over-dependence – as signs of personal weakness. But no aspect of a person’s self is weak; it’s simply one part of who they are. Being deeply emotional, for example, is neither right nor wrong.
When we stop seeing our partner’s character traits as weak, and start accepting them as an integral part of their being, we can learn to value that person on a complete spectrum. Though they may have to work to improve certain things, this becomes much easier to do once we’ve accepted that their weaknesses are, in reality, their secret strengths.
5. Your partner above all
If you’re set on being in a serious relationship, there may be times when you’ll have to place your partner before anyone else. Not to say that you’ll have to succumb to their every whim, but you will want to make them your top priority when the circumstances call for it. This is called sacrifice, but it’s also a way of building a solid foundation to your relationship.
6. Intimacy is essential
Most couples don’t realise how critical intimacy really is. They place other factors first, such as time restraints or job responsibilities, but what they don’t understand is that intimacy is just as important as communication or common values, and it should not decrease with time.
So the next time your partner wants to be intimate, take it as an opportunity to reconnect with them and strengthen your relationship rather than finding an excuse to avoid it.
7. Betrayal is brutal
Most people will endure some form of betrayal or another in their relationships. This is a sad reality of our world; we hurt each other, often without considering the consequences or meaning to. But one partner might make the one mistake which is inexcusable and becomes traumatic for the other person.
The most important step towards recovery from betrayal is acknowledging the severity of it and not sweeping your emotions under the rug: face the truth. Face your feelings, all of them! Deal accordingly with your partner, and make him or her understand the hurt you felt.
8. Grow in the same direction
Two people who don’t grow in the same direction cannot remain in a compatible relationship.
We all change by the minute; who you were just one year ago is not who you are now. Evolution is the first law of the universe, but this can cause two compatible people to grow in completely different directions and not even know it.
Like two branches of a tree which grow further and further apart, you and your partner may be growing in opposite ways and not even know it.
The strongest relationships are those in which both partners have an ‘us against the world’ mentality
9. Arguments can be productive
Most people see arguments as destructive forces in a relationship, but arguments can be highly productive and even necessary. The couple that doesn’t argue doesn’t feel genuine emotion.
Don’t try to prevent arguments that are bound to happen. Rather, learn from each disagreement you experience as a couple. Try to settle your deep-seated differences so that arguments occur less and less frequently in the future.
10. Us against the world
The strongest relationships are those in which both partners have an ‘us against the world’ mentality. Those are normally the relationships which stand the test of time.
It’s critical that you and your partner see yourselves as united against any external factors, be it financial hardships or the influence of others. If you remain closely bound to one another, nothing will be able to break you apart or come between you. The moment you start to see yourself as two separate entities with independent aims, you allow room for problems to creep in.
Whether you’re in a serious commitment or just starting out, acknowledging these few simple truths might just make the difference between breaking up and being together forever.